Bridging The G.A.P To Your Goals

#LeadandLift | Episode 57

It’s almost time to wrap this year up. All of the pain, struggle, successes and achievements that we experienced this year will soon be boxed in the past, like a gift. Speaking of gifts, there is one that I would love for you to give to yourself as the next year begins and that is the gift of giving yourself the groundwork in order to fulfill your goals.

Without goals, there is no growth. That means you remain exactly where you are. Does looking back into the year that passed give you a feeling of regret or dread? It doesn’t have to happen this year.

The next level that you want is within your reach.

The Squiggly Line

Give yourself two hours of focused free time. Grab a pen and a blank sheet of paper. Let the blankness of the paper sink in. This is your next year, full of possibilities - waiting for you to write the story that you want to happen.

Now draw a circle at the bottom left corner of the paper. Write “NOW” inside that circle. On the top right corner of the paper, draw another circle and write “December 2023”.

Next, draw a squiggly line between the “now” circle and the “December 2023” circle.

If your paper looks like this, then you’re doing it right:

The line is not a straight line. That’s because there will be ups and downs. I don’t want you to have false expectations about what’s going to happen this year. There will be both failures and successes this year. It will not be a straight line to achieve the goals that you want.

As you take time to view the incoming year from a bird’s eye view, I want you be honest with yourself as you ask yourself these questions: what is it that you’re struggling with right now?

If you don’t take time to acknowledge the things or the feelings that are tripping you up, they’re going to stay there with you and you wouldn’t know what to do about them. Capture the feelings that are showing up.

It may be disheartening to bring those thoughts into mind, but there is a good purpose behind this exercise. Remember, my friend that this is where you are today, in this present moment but that’s not going to be where you are when December 2023 comes. That’s because this time, you’re going to work at it differently.

After that, it’s time to think about your December 2023 circle. Close your eyes for a moment and think about it. It’s December 2023, what do you want that to feel like? Do you want to feel joyful? Like you’ve been happy, productive, and successful? What is the next level for you? Tap into that feeling so that you could understand what it is you’re trying to achieve.

Now you might be asking yourself, “can I really achieve all these good things? Is it really possible for me?” The answer to that question is yes! The distance between the “now” bubble and the December 2023 bubble where you want to be in the future is a GAP that you need to fill.

GAP is a framework that we could use in order to help ourselves pave the way to our own success.

Set your Goal

The G in GAP stands for Goal. Your goal isn’t simply what you want to have or where you want to be, it’s the person that you want to become, the feeling that you want to feel once your feet touch December 2023.

You need clarity on what you want to achieve by December 2023 because if you don’t, as many things come up throughout the year, you’re going to be pulled in all directions, and you wouldn’t even know where you’re going. Before you know it, the year would be done and you would’ve gotten nowhere.

You also need a dash of courage. For some, it is already clear what they want, they just simply lack the confidence to go after it.

Courage and confidence goes together. You need to take the courage to take the first step and to keep practicing so that you become more confident. That’s because confidence is a skill, a muscle that is built through consistent repetition.

Once you have clarity and courage, you can then break your big goals down into small manageable pieces that can be implemented daily, weekly, and monthly. Write those down in your calendar.

Thinking these things through helps you plan it better so that you can accomplish it in the next year. Set targets throughout the year for these activities and soon you’ll have a plant that will get you from where you are today to where you want to be next year.

If you’re struggling with clarity, with creating a plan or accountability to execute on said plans then the answer is simple: ask for help. Ask the people around you for support, accountability, and guidance or get a coach that will help you move through that process smoothly.

Become Aware

The A in GAP is Awareness. Every change starts with self-awareness. There are four things that you must keep in mind in regard to awareness and those are: your mindset, your attitude, your habits, and lastly, your energy.

You’ve got to be aware of your mindset because it has the power to either hinder your growth or launch you to success. Your doubts in yourself are rooted in what we call “limiting beliefs”. These are strongly held beliefs about the limits of how far you can go or what extent can you achieve. You have to be aware of these limiting beliefs so that you are able to cast them out and stop them from holding you back.

You have to be aware of your attitude. You will be trying to grow and learn and with that comes a lot of failures, pain, and setbacks. Ask yourself, “how do I respond to failure?” and “how do I respond to disappointment?”

If you start being aware of your attitude and you choose a more positive attitude then you can achieve the things you want.  

What is the right attitude towards “failure”? Is it really a failure, or can it be called a learning opportunity? Can it be considered being one step closer to success?

When you have those failure moments, how fast do you get up?

A day starts and ends at midnight. In the same way that you have within 24 hours to celebrate your success, you also have within 24 hours to contemplate your failure. Give yourself the space to grieve and to sulk about your failure, but when the new dawn appears, it’s time to get back up again and leave yesterday where it belongs: the past.

Both success and failure bring you one step closer to success.

One more thing I’d like to share with you that I strongly encourage you to work on being aware of is your habits.

Do a habit inventory. Know which habits you have are contributing to building this person that you want to be and know also which habits are hindering your progress and growth.

I recommend you read Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg (https://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Habits-Changes-Change-Everything/dp/0358003326) and Atomic Habits by James Clear (https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Build-Break/dp/0735211299)

The last thing under awareness is energy. Having the ability to manage your energy is a high-performance habit.

You need to learn the ability to calm yourself down - to pause, reflect, and be mindful. You also need to learn how you could turn your energy up so that you could enter a meeting full of vibrant energy and excitement.

Most successful people in the world have learned how they could generate that energy and elevate it or modulate it and remain calm when required.

The People You Surround Yourself With

The P in GAP is People. Jim Kwik said on his post that if you hang out with nine broke friends, then guess who’s going to be the 10th broke person? It’s going to be you!

Now, there’s nothing wrong with hanging out with people who are less fortunate and this quote doesn’t mean that hanging out with people who’ve hit hard times would mean that their “bad luck” would infect you. This quote means that the mindset of the people around you is going to affect your own mindset. If you want to help yourself, you have to surround yourself with people that you want to become like. This isn’t superstition, this is neuroscience. Be with people that will elevate you.

Our brain has these mirror neurons that mimic the people we hang out with. If you want proof of this, the next time that you’re waiting for people to arrive while in a zoom call, try and fake a yawn. See what happens.

As a coach, I love to surround myself with people are crushing it in the coaching industry. I’ve also invested in a few coaches myself for 2023 so that I could have people that will help me become the next-level version of myself.

Make an inventory of the people you hang out with. If you want a high-performance life, then it’s only logical that you surround yourself with high-performance friends. Find high-performers and put them in your circle. I assure you, they play life at a different level than average people.

Have the right people around so that when you stumble, you’ll have people that will help you and support you, you will have people you can rely on for help.

Becoming A Better You

If the future you from December 2023 can give a message to the you who’s standing here today, what message would that be? Write it down on the piece of paper you worked on earlier.

If you're going to make an investment this year, it better be on yourself. It’s the most worthwhile and secure investment you can ever make if you will believe in yourself.

You have the power to become the best you.

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